The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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