Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
