You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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