I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When are your genitals available?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
