Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
