In the future we'll all be gay
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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