were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
