Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
