Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
