R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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