I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
