Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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