i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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