Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize