he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
