doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
