Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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