i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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