Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
