We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
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Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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