You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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