True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
