Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
