Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
