ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
