Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
