get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
