So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
