9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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