My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
