if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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