we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
