Whod you bang
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
