So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
