i already hear my dad disowning me
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize