he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Randomize
