I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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