Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
