Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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