do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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