I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Found your dick twin last night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
