i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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