see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
