apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
