I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
