I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
