Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
