It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize