i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Bring me that man meat
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
