why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize