i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
