I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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