Little spoons don't ask big questions
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
