and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
