Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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