why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
smell my finger.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
