So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also, beer. Big fan.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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