Will you blow on my dice?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
