I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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