Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
