Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
