I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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