I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
