You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think I am morally bankrupt
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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