I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
