I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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